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The year was 1988. After a particularly trying year of school in seventh grade, I shocked my parents by announcing that I simply could not take another year of school. I had always been a very compliant child, and was acting totally out of character. My parents realized that something must be seriously wrong, and pulled me out of school to begin homeschooling.
My story might have happily ended there, if not for our local homeschool support group having decided to get involved in the fight to make homeschooling legal in all districts in Pennsylvania. In the process of attending the legislative days, watching fellow homeschoolers testify before committees, and observing the legislative process at its finest, I felt something stirring inside. While standing in the PA State Capitol the day of the vote, listening to Dr Raymond Moore testify on our behalf, my greatest dream was born. I finally knew what I wanted to do with my life: I wanted to be a homeschooling mom. My first success came at the age of 19 in teaching my own (severly dyslexic) sister to read- after three professional teachers had failed! I was confident! I could do this with no problem! (Rule #1: Never be overconfident!)
I married a wonderful man in 1994 and settled down to married life with enthusiasm. Our first child was born in 1998. The second came 5 yrs later- 11 weeks premature and delicate, but very strong willed... and it was time for my older one to start school! My husband was skeptical of my dream of homeschooling, but he gave me one year to show him it could work. By the end of the year we had both learned something. He learned that homeschooling was the best option for a child who could not sit still long enough to write one letter much less a whole row of them! I learned that I needed help and information now, if this homeschool idea would work at all! I just knew he had to be ADHD, but like dyslexia, that too could be easily overcome- I was sure of it! (Rule #2: Take learning differences seriously!)
The doctors confirmed that his was "the worst case of ADHD" they had ever seen, but without the usual behavior problems. "Interesting... oh well, no we won't medicate, I just wanted the answer," I said. A pen friend suggested that I read "The ADHD-Autism Connection" by Diane Kennedy. It sounded interesting, so I bought the book. While reading it, my world came crashing down. Her description matched my son perfectly. What seemed like a "severe case of ADHD" was possibly a mild case of autism.
Once again, I looked for answers. Once again, my suspicions were confirmed! Over time, my son introduced me to other new words- words like dyscalculia, and dysgraphia. It seemed that I was praying for help constantly, but somehow the Lord consistently showed us easier ways around the struggles. I learned then to fit the education to the child instead of vice-versa. (Yep, Rule #3)
The next year my world was rocked again as my 18 month old suddenly stopped speaking altogether and began to go into unexplainable rages. Yet another label entered our home- PDD-NOS. My daughter was high-functioning autistic. Her struggles would prove to be even greater than our son's.
Little did I know when she was born how greatful I would be for the endless rounds of therapy a premature child requires. If not for that therapy, her struggles would have been greater still. And so, I added speech therapy and sensory integration therapy to my already full plate. I was, now and forever a Special Needs Homeschool mom. The job was hard, the hours long and the pay... well, when a raging, silent toddler becomes a cheerful, creative preschooler, that is all the pay a mom could want!
By this time, friends were beginning to notice the success we were having with our little "high maintenance" homeschool... and they started asking questions. "My child is struggling with this... how can I help him do better?" "My friend is thinking of homeschooling, would you help her get started?" In this way, Oikouros was born.
Oikouros is a Greek word that means Keeper or Guardian of the Home. Titus 2 says for the older women to teach the younger to love their husbands and to be "keepers at home"- Oikouros. That mentoring relationship can make the difference between burnout or discouragement and a successful homeschool.
Struggling? I've been there. Let me help you through.
Rachael Hudson
(NOTE: I think the worst homeschool advice I ever received came when I was first searching for answers for my son's struggles. "Forget the labels and embrace your son as he is," I was told, "don't think of it as struggles, think of it as opportunities for growth." While there is a grain of truth in that [we should use struggles to help us grow and mature], if I had not gotten an answer for my son's needs, I would never have found the resources to help both him and my daughter. I do accept my children and love them as they are, yet I also strive to help them grow beyond their current limitations.) |
